War, who... hah.... what is it good for....

I've been thinking about the war analogy pertaining to Christianity. How much of it applies to life. I think that we are definitely at odds with Satan. He is our enemy and intends to destroy each and every one of us using various tactics. He is out to seek, kill and destroy and will do whatever is necessary to accomplish this... and lies are his native tongue. But do we ever really make direct attacks on Satan? I've heard people say that when we come together to pray it is like we are making a direct assault on the gates of hell... but it doesn't seem like that is what prayer really is about. It seems like prayer is more of seeking God to be in our lives and displaying faith, and humbly place ourselves under God and His will. This pisses Satan off I'm sure, but it doesn't seem like we ever attack Satan. Also, I don't think that Christianity can be reduced to an army infrastructure. God is our commander and Lord, but he doesn't want us to be men and women who are robots that do what their told for no other reason than because He said so and you must follow orders. God wants us to do what He is telling us but in the end, I think that He wants us to make a choice to choose obedience. He wants so much more than a master/slave/servant relationship. He wants to be our friend, brother, father, and lover.

I'm not sure what to do with these thoughts exactly. I still like lots of war analogies and how they can be applied to life following God, but it is good to examine things further and not let life be reduced to a single metaphor.

Alando Tucker for player of the year

So I'm sitting here watching the Iowa/Indiana and the Wisconsin/Northwestern basketball games and was thinking about a number of non-basketball related stuff like taxes and work. One thing I was thinking about was some thoughts from a book I've been reading.

I've been thinking about the idea of grace and love. What does it mean to be shown grace and to receive love from someone. I don't know if it is a societal thing or just part of being a human, but it seems so hard for me to actually receive grace and love in the true way it is intended to be received. Grace is not something that is earned. If you are a Christian, then you say "of course, I know that". But what does that really mean and do I know that on more than just some intellectual, conceptual way.

I love to help others out. I truly get joy by being able to provide for someone's needs and show them my love for them. I read something in the book I'm reading that really got deeper into myself. The author talked about how he loved to give charity to people, but hated the idea of being charity. It was more than just a matter of not wanting to be too much of a burden on them or trying to serve them by not being difficult. It was an issue of pride. He felt like he was above grace... above receiving someone's love without deserving each and every bit of it. Even though I don't think I'm all that prideful in some areas, I think this is one thing that I have struggled with. I don't want to be charity. I want feel like I'm capable of taking care of all my needs. I didn't see this as pride, but a noble task.

I've been learning what it looks like to not hide your weaknesses. What it means to let God work through your weakness. Instead of spending efforts to hide things, rather spend them developing a reliance and trust on God. I think this is starting to translate over to people for me as well.... not having feeling like I should necessarily deserve the love of people that truly care about me. Its a difficult thing to grasp though. It just doesn't seem right. I feel like I should get my self-worth from how much I can help others and how little I myself need the love and affection of friends. Or at least not letting that love exceed what I deserve from how much I do for them.

new car

Thats right, I now have a new car.. wohoo! My oldsmobile died on me a couple weeks ago and I have been without a vehicle since. I finally found a good deal on a used 2003 grand am. My first car purchase, and I will come out of it without burning a hole in my pocket. For anyone interested, here she is: http://www.geocities.com/riobravo3/images/C0223.jpg

sickly

I've been sick since really early mon. morning. Let me tell you, it is not fun waking up at 2:30AM sick. This was the first time I have been really sick in a long time, probably since high school. I was with family this weekend, but we were at my aunt and uncle's in central IL, so the car ride back to chicago with an upset stomach was not fun. But I was fortunate to be home with family for my first flu in a long time, cuz my mom loves to look over me. Nothing like drinking gatorade and having chicken broth just like when I was a little kid.

It must have been a 24 hour bug cuz I feel fine now, which is good because I have to head back to Ames today and work tomorrow.

I'm also glad I got it this weekend and not next cuz I'm going to Houston for the ISU bowl game! This is going to be a good week of working 2 days and road tripping down to a much warmer Houston.

i'm done

I'm done with my project for my training class at work. Now I get to learn how to do the real stuff in my department. I'm not even sure what I will be doing tomorrow, but I get to start doing stuff that will matter.

Iowa State is going to the EV1.net Houston bowl dec. 31 to face TCU. I will also be going. Cliff and I are going along with some others from the dorms possibly. This will be my first bowl game. I can't wait!

wow this week has flown by! I started my new job. I am in class right now, learning about the system I will be working with. I am in a 6-8 week class for 7 hours a day learning this system. It has been fun, but it is also kinda wierd. I'm still not used to being in a professional environment. I have my own cube, computer and phone. I have also hung some white sox pictures and my white sox flag in my cube. :-)

GO (WHITE) SOX!

woot

I have a job! EMC offered me a programmer analyst position today. I start Oct. 3 and put in my 2 weeks notice at work today.